The Comparison Game | Day Fifteen

By: Megan Gover | To download the third week of this study, click here. 

Dating is often a touchy subject. Talk to most dads and they quip back with the ole’ my daughter isn’t dating until she’s thirty mantra. Moms inquire about crushes while teenage norms require a boyfriend to be a part of the middle school and high school experience.

Out of all the different views, philosophies, and rules people have regarding dating, there is one danger comparisons fuel—a lie deeply rooted in our value and worth placed in the hands of a teen boy.

Before we go any further, the topic of dating can expose a lot of nerves—whether you’ve dated a bunch or hardly at all. Start off this time inviting the Lord into the corners of your deepest insecurity or pain due to dating relationships or a lack thereof.

What lies are you tempted to believe about your identity because of a dating relationship or lack thereof?


How could you experience pride in having a boyfriend? How would you feel superior because of a dating relationship?


How could you experience insecurity in having a boyfriend? How would you feel inferior because of a dating relationship (or lack thereof)?


What joy do we lose by comparing our relationship status?


Serving within girls’ ministry over the last few years, I have witnessed teen girls experience deep heartache by filling an empty void in their heart with affection from the opposite sex. And this craving often leads to compromise.


Let me tell you: a thirsty boy will never fulfill your heart’s thirst and longing. That’s the gift and invitation of the true Living Water.


If anyone can relate for an unsuccessful search for satisfaction, look no further than the woman at the well. In John chapter four, we find Jesus interacting with a woman who culturally Jews did not interact with.


Let’s flip to John 4:1-6 to see his conversation.


Where was Jesus going to and what were the details surrounding his trip?


Read John 4:7-10.


Why is it significant that Jesus asked her this question?


Liz Curtis Higgs mentions about the interaction: “(1) Jews weren't supposed to speak to Samaritans. (2) Men weren't permitted to address women without their husbands present. And (3) rabbis had no business speaking to shady ladies such as this one. Jesus was willing to toss out the rules, but our woman at the well wasn't. "You are a Jew and I am a Samaritan woman," she reminded him. "How can you ask me for a drink?" (John 4:9).

She focused on the law; Jesus focused on grace.”[1]

What does Jesus choosing to break the cultural rules say about this woman’s worth?


Read John 4:11-14.


What living water is Jesus talking about? Is it literal or spiritual?


What is your greatest desire when you are physically thirsty? How does it effect your actions?


How does the Lord’s quench our thirst? How does this give us joy?


Read John 4:15-26. Why do you think she had five husbands? Do you think she was sinning in her current relationship?


Though five marriages are deemed outrageous in today’s culture, in Jesus’ time death was quite frequent unfortunately. Between death, disease, accidents, and other factors, woman often frequently married to be taken care of after the death of their spouse. However, it seems when she is talking with Jesus, she is with someone, but not married.


Why is it important Jesus knew about this woman’s current relationship?


What was her response?


What was Jesus referring to when He talked about worshipping the Father in Spirit and truth?


Who did Jesus declare to be?


Jesus loved this Samaritan woman when their cultures were at odds with one another. He reminded this woman that her pursuit of physical water would temporarily satisfy her thirst, but would leave her wanting again. Jesus promised His love to be a thirst quencher—providing satisfaction in our souls in a way He can only provide and fill.


Knowing this, how can Jesus—the Living Water—keep us for comparing ourselves while dating in order to validated?


My prayer for you as we end today is this: may you never compromise physically, emotionally, or spiritually for a boy who was never intended or expected to satisfy the deepest longing of your heart. That’s a job for our Savior—who loves you deeply, intentionally, and faithfully!


[1] Curtis Higgs, Mary . "The Woman at the Well: Thirsty for Truth." Christianity Today <>.